Saturday, August 11, 2007

Two Sides of a Coin


Happy time - Today we put Caden in his swimsuit & let him play in the sprinklers. As you can see, he absolutely loved it. He went from one sprinkler head to another & giggled and squealed the whole time. Our neighbors across the street were finishing up their garage sale & their 2 oldest daughters came over & asked if they could run through the water too. We said, "Sure - why not?"


Sad time - This is the day we brought Caden home from the hospital. The cradle is handcrafted - by Stan & his dad - and is absolutely phenomenal. Experienced woodworkers have been shocked upon hearing that Stan built it; it's that beautiful.

I went out this evening to get a snack and when I got home, it was in several pieces in the living room. Stan took one look at me & said he had to do it in order to get it up in the attic. We simply don't have room in our office to store it anymore. And my head knows this, it's just that my heart hurt seeing it disassembled.

It's like this. I love the stage where Caden is at: talking, independent, curious. But I deeply miss the little baby. It's like a person who I loved so much and now I'll never get to see him again. Because he's gone. Because he's so much different now. And I know that's how it's supposed to be, and I'm TRULY happy with this stage/season of life. But walking into the living room and seeing a tangible piece of his babyhood in pieces...it just tore me up. It's tearing me up right now typing this. But then I look at the pictures of him playing in the sprinkler & I laugh and know that change - at least this change - is truly a good and natural thing.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Absolutely adorable picture of your son playing in the sprinklers. And yes, the sadness of seeing a crib go away . . . it can be hard. But look at this adorable toddler you have now you who throws his arms around your neck and holds on so tight.

Found you via a like interest in Nora Roberts.

Laura Brittain said...

Deann, I completely can identify with your feelings. It is exactly as you say. The little person you knew is gone forever. You love this new person, but it is bittersweet. My husband says he doesn't understand why women want their kids lame and with speech problem (when I tear up at their walking and pronouncing words correctly and not in baby talk). I told him that of course we want them to grow up, and it is nice not to have to be changing diapers all the time and to be able to talk to them to help them have a better understanding of life. But, you do have to say good-bye to the baby, and the toddler, and the preschooler, etc. They will never be those people again ... and you wouldn't want them to, but you still miss the person they were. Sometimes I just hold my little boys and try to drink in deeply and burn in my memories the sweet smells and voices and mispronounced words and snuggles that I know will pass all too quickly. It truly is bittersweet to watch them grow up ... and such a blessing and gift.

DeAnn Aalbers said...

Candace,

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my blog. I am completely in awe that you are a writer. I am a teacher & I really wanted to take my summer vacation & start writing a book, but alas, it wasn't to be.

Long live Nora!

Suzan said...

Laura...you said it so well. And, my husband never understood either. Each new stage brings new joys...but saying goodbye to the old 'joys' can be hard! DeAnn, don't you need someone to watch Caden soon?? :)