Saturday, September 1, 2007

Farewell faithful friend


For those of you who are pet people, you will get this. Everyone else will shrug & think I'm kooky.

My dear, sweet, first baby passed away last night at the age of 12 1/2.

Ashton.

We woke up on Friday & knew that something was wrong. He was very lethargic & laboring to breathe. We went to work & Stan said that he would check on him at lunch. We came home & he didn't seem to be any worse, but he still didn't look good. We went to a high school football game & when we came home, I realized that I couldn't keep kidding myself - this was bad.

Stan made some calls & eventually ended up at the Small Animal Clinic at A&M. We called my parents to come sit with Caden, who was asleep by now. We drove over there & they immediately took him back while we filled out paperwork. To make a long story short, he had 250 ml of fluid taken out from around his lungs & the doctor (intern?) thought it looked like cancer or heart failure. Just to get the cardiologist there to diagnose him would cost around $1200, so we decided to just put him out of his pain. Around 12:30 am, after being there for 2 hours, we came home.

It was really strange, almost like I was in denial about it. I spoke to my parents about it & I could tell that they were pretty shook up, but then we started talking about other stuff & laughing & joking. Surreal. When they left, I saw a picture of him and started sobbing, and Stan just held me. We then went to bed. I woke up a couple of hours later and was physically sick - I guess from all the crying and stress of it all.

He was with me almost my whole adult life. I drove to Wellborn with my future college roommate to pick him up. I wanted a female but she was already spoken for, so I 'settled' on the boy.

I'm using this blog as a journal, something I can look back on, so here's a list of things that I think show just how special he was.

He would hold his paw underneath the bathtub faucet, wait for the drip, and then lick himself clean. No wasted energy on his part.

He would sneak in the pantry, laundry room, closet - anywhere - constantly getting shut in. After a little while, I would notice he wasn't joined at my hip like usual & then I would go look for him, opening the door to wherever he was to let him out. Sometimes he was ready to come out & other times, not so much.

He loved cheese. We could not eat queso without him whining and trying to sneak around my hand to get some.

He was running to jump on the bed once & he timed it wrong. He jumped up and then started going down...the eyes got real big...and he splatted right against the side of the mattress. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

He also ran into a cleaned sliding glass door. (I never said he was the SMARTest cat)

Bailey & Jasper were born on our front porch in Houston. When they were six weeks old, some neighbors took the mama cat to their new house & we kept the babies. They apparently were weaned a little early b/c they would go up to Ashton - a neutered male cat - and knead & suckle on his belly. Ashton would merely roll over and go to sleep while they did this.

When I moved out of my first apartment (where I lived alone for awhile) into my new apartment with my roommate, I left him alone while I took a load over. When I got back to the old place, I saw that he had gotten into the fireplace & was covered with ashes. I'd already packed his cat shampoo but not my own, so I bathed him with Salon Selectives. He loved it.

Speaking of baths, he was the easiest animal to bathe. He would patiently wait for an opening, then stealthily sneak away. He was so slow, I could basically hold him with one hand; sometimes I could take that one hand off of him for a few seconds.

My parents came & spent Christmas with me in my apartment while my roommate was at home. We were asleep when this rumbling, combination growling/purring woke us up. Ashton had caught a mouse & was playing with it - I guess until he decided to eat it.

Ashton is the reason my parents have their cats. He was so much fun & my parents enjoyed him so much that they went and picked out 2 cats shortly after I got him.

**Gross-out alert** We shared yogurt. One bite for Mama, one bite for Ashton. Strawberry was his favorite.

He thought he was a dog for a long time. My roommate had 2 dachshunds & he learned to hide behind the couch and then pounce on them when they went by. They weren't allowed in my room, so he would then run in there & stop just over the threshold. This was fine until a visiting golden retriever chased him into my room. Ashton stopped. The retriever didn't. All we saw for a few seconds was cat and dog rolling on the floor.

He always came to me when I called his name. Always.

He thought everyone came to see him. He was incredibly social & would go up to people - even those who (gasp!) hate cats. I think he fell in love with the DirecTV guy; I've never seen him rub all over somebody like that before.

He knew when I was upset or sick and would come lay by me & not leave.

He never wanted to be away from me. If I took a nap, I had to make sure he was in the room with me before I shut the door.

He never really got used to the litter box idea. He would do his business and then scratch the sides of the box - sometimes for 10 minutes or more. This drove me and Stan crazy & we would tap (bang) on the box to get him to come out.

He played with me when I was in the tub. I would tap my fingers over the side & he would grab them & nibble on them. One time, I was ignoring him & I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over just in time to see him dive down to wait for me to play with him.

If I was in the bathroom taking care of business, he would get in the tub on the other side of the shower curtain & play with me that way - pushing on the curtain from one side while I did the same from mine.

I loved him soooo much and I have found myself crying at the most inopportune times. I was just at the Aggie game & I would think about something stupid that Ashton did & giggle & tear up at the same time. He was with me from the time I lived alone in college until I got married and had my son. I distinctly remember looking at him the morning after I got him and thinking it was neat that this animal would be with me for some pretty momentous occasions.

I just remembered that when I woke up that first morning, Ashton was sleeping right next to me, in the EXACT same sleeping position as I was. I always felt that we were that in tune with each other.

Stan has said for years that this was a day he was dreading b/c he knew how attached I was to Ashton. While I 'get' that he was a pet, and NOT a human, I still feel like I lost a true friend. He was the very first pet I ever had in my whole life. He was with me when I was completely alone and single. I have shared almost every important thing that has ever happened to me with that cat.

So anyway...I'm sad & I'll be sad for awhile. I cannot believe he is gone & I will truly miss him.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

bFriday night when you came back from the clinic it was like we had lost one of our own cats.We will miss Ashton very much.He was always so inquisitive about everything.I remember when you first moved to Houston and he was checking out the apartment and got behind the dishwasher.WE were all running around looking everywhere to find this cat.We thought he had gotten outside then we heard him whinning but couldn't find where it was coming from.It seemed to be in the kitchen area.....then we finally discovered where he was hiding.IT took forever to get him to come out.We know what a TRUE FRIEND he was and will miss him as well.

Laura Brittain said...

I'm so sorry about Ashton. What a neat and special relationship ... thanks for sharing. I have an old dog that I'm dreading making that decision about. I should have probably given her away 5 years ago because she's not good with the kids and Brian hates pets ... and with three little ones I don't have time for her. She seems content, but her lifestyle has changed greatly from being an inside dog that slept with me to basically being an outside dog that doesn't get any attention. She was never a cuddly or snuggly dog and never really liked being petted. I think she thinks she's a cat like Ashton thought he was a dog. Anyway, so sorry for your loss.

Suzan said...

DeAnn...I so 'get' where you are coming from. Especially the cat thing...I had one like that from college until just a few years ago. and, the best one ever, Molly, from when I was 8 until after Joshua was born (20+ years). She stayed with my mom as I lived in apartments and she loved to be outside, but whenever I went home, I would wake up in the morning with her looking at me and purring as she had always done...always in the same position. I also 'get' it today as we had to put Angus, our 10 y/o black lab down yesterday. I knew it would come someday, but was not ready yet. I am so sorry about Ashton. Sending you hugs.

Cyberpenguin said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news about your beloved cat. I can completely relate to what you're going through, having lost our own dear cat companion, Sammy, only a few years ago.

Anyone who doesn't understand what it's like to be close to their pet probably isn't as wonderfully sensitive & caring as you, (& quite possibly shouldn't own a pet either!), so I'd just ignore those clueless people.

The world would be a better place if more people loved & respected all living creatures.

I'm sending kind & comforting thoughts your way,
-C

Anonymous said...

The best part of that story is I can see you smiling as you typed it. That alone is special. I am always so afraid to get new cats because I too get very attached because they are, most of the time, so affectionate and loyal. I can truly relate to your sadness. That is so tough. You were a good mommy to him!