Still Learning

Working on night 3 of insomnia & trying not to play the 'If I go to sleep right this second, I'll get x hours of sleep.'

I do really well until about 10 or so. I get tired, turn off the laptop, lie down, then try to relax.

And then the brain starts going into overdrive: lesson plans, how to engage seniors after Spring Break, oh wow, I need to write that rec letter, & I need to read the novel that we assigned as extra credit over the break for the honors kids. WHY did we assign a novel??? Now I have to read it too!

And the list goes on.

After tossing and turning for 2 hours, I pulled out my bible & sat on my couch. Why is it, that this is my go-to fix-it when all else has failed?

Sleeping pills? Check

Relaxing music? Check

Aromatherapy? Check

Only after I've checked off the other, ME-centered items, do I choose to look at what I know is going to work.

I have a proven track record of going to the Word as a last ditch effort to solve a crisis, only to turn to the page of reading, and find the verse I need staring up at me. Tonight was no different, except it was a note I took in Sunday School a while back:

Rest cannot be achieved without faith and obedience.

Wow...

Now, let me explain something. I do a lot of things right and I know I'm going to Heaven, but (& this is a biggie) I want to do things on my timetable, on my schedule, and for my reasons.

I've learned a lot & grown significantly in my walk with Christ since I walked the aisle at FBC Bryan at 16...but this is an ongoing battle with me.

I am not always faithful. I am not always obedient.

And right now, I most certainly am not achieving rest.

But I leave you with this verse I found as I scoured my bible for all references to rest:

Jer 6:16

Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, & walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.