It's not you, it's me

To whom it may concern:

Once upon a time at the delicious age of 19, I was innocently walking in the mall when a new store caught my attention. I stopped when the salesperson/demo-goddess asked if she could give me a demonstration of this awesome new product. I, having nowhere to go (ah, to be 19 again!), said that would be fine.

She took my hand and I was forever changed. I had to have the product - Juniper Breeze liquid soap. I bought it and the lotion and went back to my apartment and giddily put them in my bathroom. It took me about 4 1/2 minutes to convince myself that the shower I had taken a mere 2 hours before had surely worn off and it was time to cleanse again.

My love affair began that day. The freshness...the beauty...it was fantastic.

And now, 15 years later, Juniper Breeze is breaking up with me.

We've both grown, changed, and evolved over the years, but our connection has always remained tight. I thought we were at that dreamed of 'home free' place where nothing could go wrong. I was horribly mistaken.

Last week, I found out Juniper Breeze was moving on. It's being discontinued - so there's room for the NEW fragrances. Oh, the salesgirl tried to fix me up with a couple of scents, but I wasn't in the mood. How could I want someone new so soon? I was inconsolable, sick with regret. Remember, this is a relationship I've had longer than my marriage!

And now I cry the lament of the brokenhearted girl - Why, Juniper Breeze? Why can't we go back to the way we were before? I'll change! I'll come in more often and purchase more of your products. I said I was sorry about Green Clover & Aloe! It didn't mean anything & it was just that one bottle!

Please, please come back. Don't go.

I love you.